I started my dialysis treatment on September 2003 and has been through it for almost seven years now. I have experienced so many things all that time, have seen fellow patients come and go , but still I’m at it up until now. A friend once asked me if I ever get tired of dialysis? Of course I do. But for someone who’s been through a lot and fought all the way, succumbing to weariness is never an option.
If you’re wondering if I ever experienced depression, well the answer is yes, I did. I was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Failure at 26 and for someone who’s merely starting to make something of his life, the reality of my predicament is just too much to handle. I guess anybody, under the same circumstances, would feel the impact and would think about what tomorrow might bring. In fact, almost any patient (not just with kidney failure) would go through some form of depression or another. Maybe it’s simply human nature to ask the “Why’s” whenever we’re faced with life-changing events.
I did go through a state of depression while I was still at the early stages of my treatment. I still go through it now from time to time. The only difference I made is that I never let it show, not if I can help it. Depression, for me, is a mind set. The more you think about it, the more you would feel it’s effect on your life. I’m not saying that I’m numbing myself from all the pain and the weariness. All I’m implying is that when depression sets in, it’s still your choice whether to fight that feeling or simply succumb to it and allow it to conquer you instead.
I’m still here, fighting as best I can and looking forward to win an uphill battle someday. Need I say more that I chose the former? That I never allowed depression to take the most out of life, eve through the most wearying times of my treatment? They say that I’m an optimist and I tend to look on the brighter side of life. That I am. Why wouldn’t I? I’m already living on the side of life where darkness just looms beyond the horizon. Believe me, I wouldn’t deprive myself the pleasure of looking on the bright side.
I hope you would too.
- images courtesy of RLHyde and ktylerconk
Article by Julius
Julius is a blogger and a freelance graphics artist undergoing dialysis treatment since 2003. An enthusiastic person by nature, he loves to write, blog, cook, read books, tinker around, listen to rock music, and do research.
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Julius I can’t help but commend you on the way you fight your sickness, always remember think positive and don’t lose faith in God.
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Thanks for wonderful words, Peni. May God also shower His blessings upon you!
Good balance in the nutrition and diet of patients undergoing dialysis is actually important. This is because the patients do not have the capacity to digest any kind of food, with their condition.
That’s right RJ, and good nutrition isn’t just beneficial for chronic kidney patients, but for healthy people as well.
Julius, what a tremedously positive and deeply informed perspective you bring to your blog. While I only have a problem of high cholesterol and gout which pales in comparison I take great inspiration from your writings and replies. Thank you for that.
Mark
Thanks for dropping by Mark and I’m glad that what I write inspires you. I’ll try to write more useful and informative articles and share my treatment experiences.
I have the same problem with the heat here in Thailand, 40 degrees here at the moment!
Dialysis should be more cautious than healthy people. You need to limit your water intake and modify your diet. Faulty diets will surely need you to pay more visits to your dialysis center. Learn the do’s and dont’s of diet so that your life span will be lengthened.
That’s right Meggan, and not only that, but might result in frequent hospitalization as well.
A poor diet can increase the amount of waste in the body and over burden the kidneys. A good tip is to drink a pint of water about 30mins before every meal and a pint of water afer. This can help the kidneys remove wastes and toxins quicker.
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I did when it happened to me in ever meeting.
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Dear Julius,
My father has CKD,which has been diagnosed last month….. it is heart wrenching as he does not have diabetes,high blood pressure or heart ailments…..the kidney failure was due to some bacteria….as the biopsy report suggests……he was complaining previously with Gout like symptoms…. he is 75 yrs and was hale and hearty previously…… he has been so positive even being told by the doctor about his condition….. he gets up at 4am in the morning to travel a long distance for his hemodialysis…..as he stays in a place in India where there are no good dialysis centres nearby….. the doctors suggested after his fistula is ready after 1 month , he can do it at a nearby centre and the danger of infection will be less…. the doctor also told he can opt for peritoneal dialysis….. let’s see what happens…. meanwhile he is on a diet
recommended by a renal dietician…….
Thanks for sharing your story, Suparna. I’m glad to hear that your father maintains a positive outlook on his predicament. Support him in this optimism and let him feel that he’s loved even more. These will help him ease the burden of the journey and pull through the obstacles ahead.
I wish your father good health through his treatments and strength for you. God bless!
I really enjoyed your blog post, i always got good, relevant and useful information from your new and unique posts, i m sure your blog will keep us continues update. Thanks for providing us such useful information.
Dieting and nutrition have always helped me in my life. Having good health and a stronger body. When I eat right my body has energy to do what I need to do through out the day. Great post thank you for all the information.
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Great post. I know a few people with kidney issues and this really helps.
Hi,
I really enjoyed this post, I’m a nursing student and I’m trying to figure out a day in the life of a dialysis patient and your posts are giving me lots of insight, Thanks!
Hi .. Thank you for sharing this .. It is informative .. and Interesting ..
More Power !!
and GodBless us ..
nice post.. Yung nanay ko, sobrang depressed hanggang ngayon. ipapabasa ko sakanya tong blog mo.
thankyou
Thanks for the comment, Aldrich. Tulungan nyo ang nanay mo to fight depression. This is the time she needs you most so having a positive outlook on things would be helpful to her.
In addition to exercise, eating is probably even more important in the formula. I’ve found that eating a raw whole food, plant based diet minimizes the symptoms or even cures some conditions that are considered incurable, like many forms of cancer or diabetes. I’m not sure about kidney function but I’m sure it couldn’t hurt to detoxify the body in that way.
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Thanks for the great post about food for dialysis patients. Your post brought up a lot of interesting points that I haven’t thought about. I’m looking forward to reading a lot more of your site in the future.
delora @ find a healthy diet´s last blog ..Devising a Healthy Low Fat Vegan Diet Plan For New Vegetarians
Your post really moved me! I do not have any serious life-threatening conditions, but I think I can feel your pain and sadness.
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Great article Julius. You made it clear that a good diet is important lifestyle for a healthy living. This will help flush out toxins in our body.
Hi Julius,
I added you site already to my blogroll, please do the same for my blog.
Thanks,
Emma
Dialysis Patient Care´s last blog ..Hemodialysis Devices- Dialyzers
this disease is becoming such an epidemic. I think early detection and just knowing if you are predisposed is key to the progression.
Quite right. Though CKD is often diagnosed at a later stage, you still have the choice to have yourself screened for kidney disease if you think you’re at risk.
Thanks for the great post about food and dialysis patients. Your post brought up a lot of interesting points that I haven’t thought about. I’m looking forward to reading a lot more of your site in the future.
delora @ find a healthy diet´s last blog ..Devising a Healthy Low Fat Vegan Diet Plan For New Vegetarians
Thanks for dropping by Delora. I’ll try to post more informative articles in the future.
Just an excellent blog you have here. Its very information and I enjoy reading it. I try to visit your blog about twice a week just to see what you have posted
Keep it up.
I was wondering if you can exchange links with me, my blog is http://dialysis-patient-care.blogspot.com, it will really help our Google PageRank and at the same time, it will increase our visitors. I would love to share you stuff to my readers. I went ahead and added your blog to my blogroll, hope you can also do the same.
Sincerly,
Emma
Thanks for dropping by Emma. I’m glad to hear that you like what I write about and happy to find a fellow Pinoy writing about it also.
There’s no problem about the link exchange. I’d gladly put your link in my blogroll. Thanks again for visiting!
this article has made me think about myself. i’ve been undergoing dialysis treatment also for two months now at dela salle univ. med’l center here in dasma, cavite. just last friday, i had my monthly lab tests and was saddened by the result that my creatinine level has gone up again instead of lowering down. i was depressed, of course, because, i was thinking that thru dialysis twice a week, somehow, my creatinine would get to back to normal level. this makes me think that why do i have to waste my time and money if i can’t get the kind of result that i need.
but after reading your note/blog, i realized that i was not the only person who suffers this kind of depression. but in your case, you positively handles you depression and i admire for that.
nsm
Thanks. But let me ask you something first. Are you suffering from Chronic Kidney Disease, or just a bout of Acute Kidney Failure? Because if you’re suffering from CKD, then you’ve got to set something in your head first – your creatinine levels won’t get back into normal no matter how much dialysis you get. It will go down to a more acceptable level through constant dialysis and watching what you eat. But it will never be normal unless your kidneys started to work normally again, and that’s obtained by getting a kidney transplant.
My advice is that you do more research on your condition. The more you know about it, the less the impact it will be on you emotionally simply because you’ll know more facts.
Cheer up and enjoy life!
Great post!I understand how you feel.I was diagnosed with ESRD at the age of 23. I’ve been on dialysis for 10 months and I’m trying my best to stay as healthy as possible.
Actually you can lower your creatinine to slightly above normal levels by sticking to a strict diet. My creatinine level was at 21 when I started. I switched to a vegetarian diet and only eggs as a source of protein. I was able to lower it to 3. I think I can’t get lower than 3 because I regularly exercise and the breakdown of muscles contributes to creatinine generation.
Also to fellow guys who are undergoing dialysis, try coq10 supplementation. It is very beneficial in improving our remaining kidney function. You can google it for more info.
Your post really moved me! I do not have any serious life-threatening conditions, but I think I can feel your pain and sadness. I am glad that you have chosen to be happy and see the bright side of life rather than mope around and feel sorry for your predicament. I believe that God has given you this ordeal because you can bear it. I wish you all the best in your health.
I love your positive attitude! I think that always makes the difference.
Thanks Melinda for dropping by! I’ve always been an optimist all my life, even through this life-changing situation I’m into. And yes, It does makes a difference. I just wish other people would also make optimism a habit. It wouldn’t just lighten up things but would also teach us to cope more easily with every conflict that we encounter.
Now wouldn’t that be nice.
Erratum: Bloggers Unite, not Blogger’s Unite
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Hi Julius,
I found you in Blogger’s Unite where both of us have entries for “Empowering People With Disabilities”. My “website” is really my main blog site but my entry for Blogger’s Unite came from my other blog, and this is the URL: http://dreamslist.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-prodigy.html
I admire your disposition which is enough to give you a longer life full of fulfillment because you inspire people.
I wonder where you’re having your dialysis because I visit NKTI (National Kidney Transplant Institute) for several reasons but not as a patient. I have some friends there now, one reason why I am now a fan of NKTI in Facebook, though I am really now an advocate of TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) where acupuncture is one of its area for healing. I have three gadgets for acupuncture, one is an electronic acupuncture, another is a needleless acupoint gadget and the third one a comb gadget for hypertension. I started being an advocate in my search for solutions for my adoptive daughter who has cerebral palsy and acupuncture is one if not the best solution.
I usually publish my experiences with my gadgets in my 3 blogs, like in my last entry in my main blog, “I Don’t Want To Retire”, which I hope you’ll visit because there is an important “message” for you there, just look for the link that has the word “message”.
May God bless you always.
Lubel (Maria Luisa Taa Venida)
Lubel´s last blog ..Fighting a fever without medicines
Thanks for dropping by here, Lubel. I really appreciate it. I’m currently undergoing dialysis in PKDF (Philippine Kidney Dialysis Foundation), a clinic in Tomas Morato, QC. It’s a lot cheaper there than at NKTI and it’s where I’ve been recommended by my doctor.
You have a nice blog and I hope to read more of it these coming days.